| When i talk about the fear of love , it starts at the very beginning when you just have a crush , like mathematically (variable on your appearance) the maths aren't with you , there is 3 scenarios: -You get rejected = Lose of time and feelings hurted -You go on a relationship but don't finish your life with this person=EXTREME loss of time(and other things) and feelings hurt depending on the scenario -That was the one= you won But like the percentages of winning are just awful , how aren't people logically and rationally scared? |
Sofia Vergara is the absolute prettiest living being since the first apparition of any living entity on this earth and space. |
| If your looks are high as a man you probably realize relationships are for sex. Marriage is a scam like the idea of monogamy. Sexy men have women approach them, but most average dudes think their experience=everyone else's experience. Relationships are for women and the top % of men. |
 |
love isnt scary, I am scared of the boogeyman and of piles of clothes when I wake up and its dark |
 |
| They probably just never thought about it that hard. Or maybe they are scared, but they try anyways. Love is generally something that feels nice, so I guess people shoot their shot even if it might not work out. Maybe they don't view it as a loss of time. There's also life experience to be gained from a relationship that doesn't ultimately work out, and not everyone's even looking for an eternal love. At the end of the day everything is temporary, so why not just enjoy what you can in the moment? For a lot of people the gamble might be worth finding a life-long partner too. So I guess at the end of the day the answer to your question just depends on the person. I think looking at dating as something to win or lose is kinda misguided, people are complicated. |
| The above example is barely scratching the surface add serious things like being labeled a creep and living with it being labeled an abuser / misogynist (like in the case with Amber Heard) divorce and legal fees child support murder out of jealousy being accused of SA being a victim of a badger etc etc |
 |
| Love is obviously better than lust. Don't you agree?? |
| What is this loss of time you speak of? |
| その目だれの目？ |
| But they are? Why else are there so many people who haven't asked anyone out in person or even been in a relationship? Fear of rejection, commitment, insecurity, ect. Those who aren't either treat it casually, are very confident, or have lots of experience. |
KwanthemasterMar 12, 9:05 PM
  |
| It can be a scary thing, but it's better than living alone I think. You'll never know if you truly have a heart if it's never been broken. Okay I'll stop with the mushy stuff. |
 |
| Simple, love isn't scary. Rejection and loss are not love but the absence of it. |
| ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣸⠋⠀⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⡔⠀⢀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⡘⡰⠁⠘⡀⠀⠀⢠⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠁⠀⣀⠀⠀⡇⠀⡜⠈⠁⠀⢸⡈⢇⠀⠀⢣⠑⠢⢄⣇⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⢸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢰⡟⡀⠀⡇⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠘⡇⠈⢆⢰⠁⠀⠀⠀⠘⣆⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠸⠀⠀⡄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠤⢄⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡼⠀⣧⠀⢿⢠⣤⣤⣬⣥⠀⠁⠀⠀⠛⢀⡒⠀⠀⠀⠘⡆⡆⠀⠀⠀⡇⠀⠀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⢵⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⡰⠀⢠⠃⠱⣼⡀⣀⡀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠈⠛⠳⠶⠶⠆⡸⢀⡀⣀⢰⠀⠀⢸ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⣀⣀⣀⠄⠀⠉⠁⠀⠀⢠⠃⢀⠎⠀⠀⣼⠋⠉⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠴⠢⢄⡔⣕⡍⠣⣱⢸⠀⠀⢷⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⡰⠃⢀⠎⠀⠀⡜⡨⢢⡀⠀⠀⠀⠐⣄⠀⠀⣠⠀⠀⠀⠐⢛⠽⠗⠁⠀⠁⠊⠀⡜⠸⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⢀⠔⣁⡴⠃⠀⡠⡪⠊⣠⣾⣟⣷⡦⠤⣀⡈⠁⠉⢀⣀⡠⢔⠊⠁⠀⠀⠀⠀⢀⡤⡗⢀⠇⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⢀⣠⠴⢑⡨⠊⡀⠤⠚⢉⣴⣾⣿⡿⣾⣿⡇⠀⠹⣻⠛⠉⠉⢀⠠⠺⠀⠀⡀⢄⣴⣾⣧⣞⠀⡜⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠐⠒⣉⠠⠄⡂⠅⠊⠁⠀⠀⣴⣿⣿⣿⣿⣻⣿⣿⡇⠀⠀⢠⣷⣮⡍⡠⠔⢉⡇⡠⠋⠁⠀⣿⣿⣿⣿⣄⠀⠀⠀⠀ |
| Not that much as I no longer view it as a teenager. The earlier I get rejected the less it hurts. If I don't end up with that person than that's it, nothing too complicated. People should be more scared of veneral disseases than love itself. |
| What is love? |
 |
Serafos. |
|
Zakatsuki_ said: When i talk about the fear of love , it starts at the very beginning when you just have a crush , like mathematically (variable on your appearance) the maths aren't with you , there is 3 scenarios: -You get rejected = Lose of time and feelings hurted -You go on a relationship but don't finish your life with this person=EXTREME loss of time(and other things) and feelings hurt depending on the scenario -That was the one= you won But like the percentages of winning are just awful , how aren't people logically and rationally scared? Because most people know logically and rationally that the end result, "you won" after however many relationships it took to get there, is worth it |
 |
| Avoiding something because you're afraid that you'll potentially lose it means you never deserved it in the first place. This especially applies to love. It is one of the most wonderful things you can experience if "you win", why do you expect it to be easy to obtain in such a perfected form? Everything in life (including even the fact that you're breathing and conscious) comes with risks and the danger of being hurt, sometimes irreparably so. It's best to appreciate the positives and understand that nothing will remain the exact same. If things go bad, it is best to adapt and have faith that life is not trying to hurt you senselessly. It will pass and many good things will still come your way. The world itself is not evil and never will be. The odds were never in your favour, OP, because you cannot appreciate something unless it remains unchanged and is guaranteed to you. Until your mentality changes, you will never be truly happy. Change for the better, please. |
Kamikaze_404Mar 13, 3:10 AM
 |
| People shouldn't think of a relationship as a loss of time if there's a break-up later, if they enjoyed their time together until then, it was worth it. |
| The way I see it most people don't think about love or relationships rationally as it's a feelings based interaction. Yeah your examples are correct but so surface level that it they don't even register as real examples imo. Yes you can always get hurt in a relationship since you are interacting with people. Trust is the thing you need to not feel scared. Trust in yourself and/or trust in the person you are pursuing a relationship with. Personally I am not one to lecture someone on this subject, I have only one relationship and I think I found the one on first try. Probably was lucky but also I made sure that I found a weirdo to match my oddness. |
Reply to 3miL
The above example is barely scratching the surface
add serious things like being labeled a creep and living with it
being labeled an abuser / misogynist (like in the case with Amber Heard)
divorce and legal fees
child support
murder out of jealousy
being accused of SA
being a victim of a badger
etc etc
add serious things like being labeled a creep and living with it
being labeled an abuser / misogynist (like in the case with Amber Heard)
divorce and legal fees
child support
murder out of jealousy
being accused of SA
being a victim of a badger
etc etc
| @3miL yeah you're right , i didn't give enough examples but you're just showing my point even more |
| Sofia Vergara is the absolute prettiest living being since the first apparition of any living entity on this earth and space. |
Reply to Lucifrost
What is this loss of time you speak of?
| @Lucifrost f you spend a lot of time with someone , go eat , go on wals , speaking to them etc but you don't end up with them all those hours will come to nothing at the end , you could had invested them in other projects |
| Sofia Vergara is the absolute prettiest living being since the first apparition of any living entity on this earth and space. |
Reply to Zakatsuki_
@Lucifrost f you spend a lot of time with someone , go eat , go on wals , speaking to them etc but you don't end up with them
all those hours will come to nothing at the end , you could had invested them in other projects
all those hours will come to nothing at the end , you could had invested them in other projects
| @Zakatsuki_ ???? I wouldn't be spending that time if I didn't enjoy it. Do you never speak to anyone you're not interested in ending up with? |
| その目だれの目？ |
| I get that, sunk cost fallacy and such. But life is a journey and not a destination, in a relationship there is sure to be plenty kf good times and also bad times to learn from, a story. See, I fear love in the sense of true emotional intimacy without my many layers of irony. That's truly scary. |
  ♡ Harder Daddy ♡ |
Reply to 3miL
The above example is barely scratching the surface
add serious things like being labeled a creep and living with it
being labeled an abuser / misogynist (like in the case with Amber Heard)
divorce and legal fees
child support
murder out of jealousy
being accused of SA
being a victim of a badger
etc etc
add serious things like being labeled a creep and living with it
being labeled an abuser / misogynist (like in the case with Amber Heard)
divorce and legal fees
child support
murder out of jealousy
being accused of SA
being a victim of a badger
etc etc
| @3miL I like that being accused of sexual assault made the list of bad things that can happen, but being sexually assaulted didn't. Good priorities we got there that a small fraction of the SA claims take precedence over the lion's share. OT: I mean, most people from ages of 25-54 are married (a majority that is getting slimmer but a majority still). If most people are managing, it's probably not that scary enough to be deterring. Either the downsides are overstated, or the upsides are that much more worth it, you decide. |
 |
| You only need to win once, so it's not the worst thing ever. |
| Pi^4+Pi^5=e^6 |
| I never go in a relationship expecting things to end with marriage however much I require it be a possibility, but I do enter a relationship with expectations of it being a worthwhile and meaningful endeavor regardless of how things turn out. Good things end, some things just run their course. When choosing someone to date, date someone you can get an amicable divorce from. Considering that, also be a person someone can get an amicable divorce with. |
| Auroraloose's Aurorasimp “Like poking a strange horny animal with a stick” -Fleurbleue the incredibly beautiful and sadistic Québécois |
Auron said: @3miL I like that being accused of sexual assault made the list of bad things that can happen, but being sexually assaulted didn't. Good priorities we got there that a small fraction of the SA claims take precedence over the lion's share. OT: I mean, most people from ages of 25-54 are married (a majority that is getting slimmer but a majority still). If most people are managing, it's probably not that scary enough to be deterring. Either the downsides are overstated, or the upsides are that much more worth it, you decide. lol calm down, just because I didn't list something does not automatically mean I support what I omitted Of course that's included, I just made a rapid fire addition to the above topic. |
|
Reply to 3miL
Auron said:
@3miL
I like that being accused of sexual assault made the list of bad things that can happen, but being sexually assaulted didn't.
Good priorities we got there that a small fraction of the SA claims take precedence over the lion's share.
OT:
I mean, most people from ages of 25-54 are married (a majority that is getting slimmer but a majority still). If most people are managing, it's probably not that scary enough to be deterring. Either the downsides are overstated, or the upsides are that much more worth it, you decide.
@3miL
I like that being accused of sexual assault made the list of bad things that can happen, but being sexually assaulted didn't.
Good priorities we got there that a small fraction of the SA claims take precedence over the lion's share.
OT:
I mean, most people from ages of 25-54 are married (a majority that is getting slimmer but a majority still). If most people are managing, it's probably not that scary enough to be deterring. Either the downsides are overstated, or the upsides are that much more worth it, you decide.
lol calm down, just because I didn't list something does not automatically mean I support what I omitted
Of course that's included, I just made a rapid fire addition to the above topic.
| @3miL No, it doesn't mean you support it, I didn't say you supported it. I think what people omit is almost as informative about their beliefs and its ordinal association as what they end up saying. If a thread was about 18th century American oppression, and I talked exclusively about indentured servitude of the immigrants to the American colonies, and how people without land couldn't vote, there would be some fairly clear inferences one could make about that. |
|
Auron said: @3miL No, it doesn't mean you support it, I didn't say you supported it. I think what people omit is almost as informative about their beliefs and its ordinal association as what they end up saying. If a thread was about 18th century American oppression, and I talked exclusively about indentured servitude of the immigrants to the American colonies, and how people without land couldn't vote, there would be some fairly clear inferences one could make about that. Almost is the keyword right here sir. People can omit things for a variety of reasons and making implications such as what you just did, accusing me of priorities is clearly acting in bad faith. You cannot claim absolute knowledge of my intentions from armchair psychology or suspicions alone so I'd appreciate it if you avoid jumping to conclusions |
|
| Bro, you can't win. It's an infinite game for a finite life. It's like some sort of pathological western infliction, obsession with love and fear of death (the end). Even though it is an insurmountable obstacle for chimpanzees. Leave the fallen where they lie. |
 |
| And why bother with marriage when divorce is extremely common? I don't bother with that marriage nonsense. It is not worth my time nor effort. |
| When you know about the horrors life throw at you and all the diseases that exist in the world trying to kill you, things like love doesn't seem scary anymore, it becomes comforting. |
| In short, because people think about the good things about love until the bad things start happening. But it's like everything in life. You can't be scared of everything that doesn't work in your favor with maths, or else you wouldn't leave your room (although it's true that wouldn't be bad at all) xD |
 |
| Night is short, walk on girl. Fire burns, yet it's fire. |
| Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. |
| Because Lovers never lose! It really does make you crazy to be in love ;) |
| I CELEBRATE myself, And what I assume you shall assume, For every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you. |
| i'm scared of it. 3 weeks ago this woman(24) confessed to me and (29) i was like why me? i like her alot too but i'm not sure if i even deserve her affection. i'm not sure if i can even make her happy. last person i loved died 2 years ago and i'm scared of experiencing that pain again. |
| "how aren't people logically and rationally scared?" Because people aren't logical/rational, especially about the topic that is love |
| Things don't suddenly lose value just because they're temporary or didn't work out. Everyone is gonna die one day, don't mean all those years they're on this rock were a giant waste of time. |
 |
| People are scared of love, as a wise poet once said. |
 |
| ok, well rather than it being only about taking risks or hoping for anything good, it is more of how much you are willing to prepare for it, or else there is no point. If a person is that scared, he/she is not ready for it. Not that I have experience okay, this is just my opinion. |
  ░ ❷ Anime List ░ |
| Fergie sung it best: "You know, this ain't the first time this has happened to me This "love sick" thing I like serious relationships, and, uh Huh, a girl like me don't stay single for long 'Cause every time a boyfriend and I break up My world is crushed, and I'm all alone The love bug crawls right back up and bites me And I'm back" |
| Aren't you a religious person? You simply need to have faith, for probability theory will lead you nowhere in life (even if you pursue it as a field, you need to have faith in it!). |
MeusnierMar 28, 7:17 AM
Reply to Meusnier
Aren't you a religious person? You simply need to have faith, for probability theory will lead you nowhere in life (even if you pursue it as a field, you need to have faith in it!).
| @Meusnier You still need action behind faith. He should trying find someone as serious his religion as he is. He's also 15 focus on school not girls. |
| "Savage Pirate We Love You" |
Reply to Meusnier
Aren't you a religious person? You simply need to have faith, for probability theory will lead you nowhere in life (even if you pursue it as a field, you need to have faith in it!).
| @Meusnier Meusnier said: Aren't you a religious person? Yes i am but how do you know it lmao wtf?? Yeah i totally understand your point , in fact i've never thinked about the perspective you just described to me |
| Sofia Vergara is the absolute prettiest living being since the first apparition of any living entity on this earth and space. |
Reply to MissHeed
@Meusnier You still need action behind faith. He should trying find someone as serious his religion as he is. He's also 15 focus on school not girls.
| @MissHeed MissHeed said: He's also 15 I am 17 and 18 in June eheh , almost major let's fucking go! MissHeed said: focus on school not girls. Is it sarcastic or? |
| Sofia Vergara is the absolute prettiest living being since the first apparition of any living entity on this earth and space. |
Reply to Zakatsuki_
@MissHeed
I am 17 and 18 in June eheh , almost major let's fucking go!
Is it sarcastic or?
MissHeed said:
He's also 15
He's also 15
I am 17 and 18 in June eheh , almost major let's fucking go!
MissHeed said:
focus on school not girls.
focus on school not girls.
Is it sarcastic or?
| @Zakatsuki_ I thought you were 15 lol. Could swore you said in different threads. Not a waste of time, try bumble when you turn 18. I know lot guys who had success on there. Still married too. |
MissHeedMar 25, 4:25 PM
| "Savage Pirate We Love You" |
Reply to MissHeed
@Zakatsuki_ I thought you were 15 lol. Could swore you said in different threads. Not a waste of time, try bumble when you turn 18. I know lot guys who had success on there. Still married too.
| @MissHeed Is bumble a dating app? And what do you mean by "still married" like they got married by using this app? MissHeed said: I thought you were 15 lol. Could swore you said in different threads Fuck , i legit think it's possible i've said that but i really do not know why , even if some1 lies on his age it's always to look older , not the opposite , i think i've talked about things i've experienced when i was 15 but like bro wtf why would i've said that and why do i have this weird memories about it |
Zakatsuki_Mar 25, 4:35 PM
| Sofia Vergara is the absolute prettiest living being since the first apparition of any living entity on this earth and space. |
Reply to Zakatsuki_
@MissHeed Is bumble a dating app?
And what do you mean by "still married"
like they got married by using this app?
Fuck , i legit think it's possible i've said that but i really do not know why , even if some1 lies on his age it's always to look older , not the opposite , i think i've talked about things i've experienced when i was 15 but like bro wtf why would i've said that and why do i have this weird memories about it
And what do you mean by "still married"
like they got married by using this app?
MissHeed said:
I thought you were 15 lol. Could swore you said in different threads
I thought you were 15 lol. Could swore you said in different threads
Fuck , i legit think it's possible i've said that but i really do not know why , even if some1 lies on his age it's always to look older , not the opposite , i think i've talked about things i've experienced when i was 15 but like bro wtf why would i've said that and why do i have this weird memories about it
| @Zakatsuki_ It's dating app. They met theirs wives off it. The couples are still married. |
| "Savage Pirate We Love You" |
MissHeed said: @Meusnier You still need action behind faith. He should trying find someone as serious his religion as he is. He's also 15 focus on school not girls. I agree. Men should not worry about girls until they have a stable situation in life. Do you imagine if a guy who was still a student came to ask for your daughter's hand? Zakatsuki_ said: @Meusnier Meusnier said: Aren't you a religious person? Yes i am but how do you know it lmao wtf?? Yeah i totally understand your point , in fact i've never thinked about the perspective you just described to me Well, you had made this thread on Algerian women, so it was not that hard to deduct. But I think that @MissHeed's initial advice is the best. You have plenty of time and using a dating application actually sounds like a way to force destiny... The blessings of God will come your way when you expect them the least. |
| I mean, even if the chance is only 5% of things working out, it's really just a matter of time before you do find your person. So, the people who pursue romantic relationships feel that each rejection is worth finding that one person for. I was on dating apps for about a year before finally meeting my boyfriend. I had some good dates, had some bad dates, had some terrible dates. I met people I didn't like, I met people I really liked who then ghosted me. Sometimes it sucked, but then I met my now-partner, and my "perseverance" paid off. Our 2-year anniversary is in 2 weeks :) If you feel too much stress from the act of dating, then it's okay to not date or to not specifically seek out romantic relationships. If you want one, it can still happy organically, meeting someone at the right place at the right time who you slowly develop mutually feelings for. It's okay to just take a step back and not worry about it. |
"Wonder is always difficult until you forgive whoever destroyed your love of surprises" — Edmond Manning  |
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